i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible

How do i ask him for time apart without him blittling me? I was able to get myself out of the episode after a couple of hours. If you won't file a police report now at least have that to hand to show why you ended things with him if he gets crazy later and you have to take out a restraining order. Maybe you don't have anger issues overall, but clearly you do towards him. Men are abused far more than general perception would have you believe. You are right about there being something clearly wrong if this is something that still managed to get to me so many months later. He said sure. I am seeing my therapist on Wednesday actually. But i was extremely angry. A good man should be enough for a woman and thats it. LSA we need to discuss this. In fact Jimmy defended himself rather badly and Susan dropped him there and then. Using that logic, it doesn't seem right to use much force on a weaker, person. I checked my phone a while later and my boyfriend had sent me a message saying that it wasn't okay for me to hit him like I did, and that he didn't want to see or talk to me and that I should go home to sleep instead of going to his place. Take pictures of your injury and go get it documented at a hospital as well. The abuse persists, and both parties try to find reasons why it happened and why it is okay to ignore it and move forward. I feel that way too. This means more than 10 million women and men are experiencing physical violence or sexual abuse in a relationship each year in a given year. I'm betting he didn't always act like this. We have talked about it, he's aware of how it makes me feel but has continued to do it. How did you cope with it afterwards? I would leave him if he hit me. Now as an only child from a divorced family, that leaves me completely respondsible for her care and going to appointments with her. You are using an out of date browser. Thank you for helping me put this in perspective. This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform. You're so annoying, shut up.". He's laughing about the violence? I've been together with my boyfriend for a little over a month (both 15) and im starting to think I am a lesbian. Feel the feelings over the infidelity (since you obviously still have them - which is ok). In this way, she let him see that she would like him back but was leaving him the time to make his own decision. The Hotline website has a page that can help you find local resources. We've been together 3 years. I'm sure he says he loves you, cares about you, etc., when things are good. I want whats best for him and I think that means not being with me. I wouldn't blame my boyfriend if he decided to. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together., Austa has been wonderful thus far. It is time to bail once and for all. You don't want to miss this - Click Here, ---------------------------------------------------. You cant take back those violent actions, but taking steps to prevent them from ever occurring again can be crucial. Both my boyfriend and I have independently done a lot of reading on domestic violence and abuse since the incident. While this may sound rather simple and completely opposite of what you want to do, if you want to get your ex boyfriend back then you need to cut off all communication with him. My Dad was having an affair during most of my childhood and was never home or when he was home, he wasn't around my Mom and I. Thus Susan found herself in a very in a quandary. Get The Support You Need From One Of Our Therapists. Now, he is getting REALLY angry. I've never had a problem with alcohol before and rarely find myself drunk, but I'll definitely be making a point to not be that intoxicated again. Read More >. Proof and reality are in the actions. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. I can't say if the relationship can be fixed or not because I can only base my advice off of what my reaction in the situation would be. It doesn't make it right for the woman to do it either. By Identifying the emotions that cause these violent outbursts plays an important key in ensuring that those violent tendencies do not light again. I woke up with a bruise on my arm. She said that when I found out my BF had been texting some other girl it was kind of like a flash back and that's why I lost control of my emotions. Is there anywhere else you can stay for the time being? Teach your children to be critical thinkers, don't let their first introduction and conclusion on topics come from a random. There was a car on both sides of our car, and they were kind of prohibiting us from leaving (doors open, people standing behind our car.) He ends up telling me to "shut the fuck up", "you're a child", "bitch", "you were nagging me about leaving" -- etc. What do you do when you hurt your boyfriend? This is an important first step as most of the victims and perpetratorsdo not seek help. I feel like a horrible person. The really good to really bad thing is also classic for abuse relationship. Escalation and reaction like that are only short term responses. I regretted it the second I did it. You should both make this over for good. Started Saturday at 09:38 PM, By A lot of posters are glossing over this as a one time thing and deciding it's not abuse. This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. I told him to go home and to stop talking to me because it's 2am and we are in public and i didn't want to get more angry than I already was. My boyfriend got into a heated agrument last night where he accused me of cheating on him with a mutal female friend because durring the night we would often joke about her being my girlfriend etc and because we kept going to the bathroom - manly because we were drinking a lot that night( by drinking i mean - i was thirsty so i kept myself hydrated with water etc, however i did have a beer BUT was not drinking to get drunk nor was i tipsy) and needed to use the bathroom therefore we went . She said what had happened between them was all her fault and that she would never let it happen again. After that I went to talk to some friends. Has anyone here loved a man that was bad for you? What happens if she gets drunk and something similar happens again? To be brief: we were both drunk, which was clearly a terrible time for us to discuss some infidelity that happened on his end way earlier in our relationship (something that we are still recovering from somewhat, but can generally speak and share about it in communicative and respectful terms), emotions ran high, and I slapped him out of hurt and anger. I don't know if I should be acting like what he did was justified, because I slapped him. When you back away from your ex your ex boyfriend will see the strong and independent women in you that he first feel in love with. Until at one point, she ended at the hospital. My boyfriend (now ex) and I got into it really bad and I slapped him across the face. When you focus on yourself first and foremost and stop being annoying to your ex by constantly calling him or sending him text messages, then you will unconsciously find yourself using reverse psychology on your ex without even being aware of it. While it certainly is not excusable to be violent with your significant other in any situation, recognizing what you have done can be the important first step towards resolving the situation. You sound like you self-sabotage and self-abuse, along with your partner abuse. I'm sorry to hear about your mother. Why is it so hard to just calm myself? You should not be treated special just because you were upset and then regretted it. Him just acting like he didn't care and showing no emotion. Edit: I also want to note that I made a point of apologizing profusely. How old are you? Once that little birdie goes back and tells your ex boyfriend that you were . It has to be sincere and the priority in the wake of hitting a boyfriend. One thing led to another and I ended up slapping him and telling him to get out. I would have done the same. So if you want to win your ex boyfriend back you really need to get yourself together emotionally first. He had been very hurt because Susan had not trusted him and had not even discussed things with him. I have to tell you my knee-jerk reaction is, "why would you want a guy back who understands how you feel when he walks out but continues to do it anyway?" When he comes back the next day, do the two of you then talk about and resolve the problem you were fighting about the night before? If you want to get your ex boyfriend back a little reverse psychology may be what you need to win your ex boyfriend back. I'm so conflicted. It's that simple. MaisyMarch 6, 2011 in Abuse and Violence. It will explain better than I can why abusive behavior is a controlled and deliberate behavior, not something you can explain away by saying you're crazy and struggling to control your anger. Hopefully she'll get some help so it doesn't happen again and it sounds like she feels bad about it which is a good sign. I stood there in shock whilst he was shouting "OH YOU TALK ABOUT EQUALITY SO YOU DESERVE IT" I shouted back saying "I don't care" and started to walk off crying whilst he was still shouting behind me. Does he get murderously angry? I wish I could reach out to you. Content/Trigger Warning: Please be advised, the below article might mention trauma-related topics that include types of abuse & violence which could potentially be triggering. Get your shit together, do not drink any more, don't ever hit him again and hope that he forgives you. Read More >, I hit my boyfriend and I hate myself for it. Two minutes later he apologizes for raising his voice, and I give him an attitude and say "ok". But I think that staying together is the wrong course, and that you need a break. I'm 24, he's 28. Again, this is not how someone who cares about you behaves. Some cannot handle the unpleasantries that a disagreement can bring; having anger management classes can better handle those situations. toughlove1993 He has never done that before, and he promised he'd never do it again. It matters. These are not the actions of someone who cares about you. He text me today that he would talk to me later tonight. Getting an ex back after you have misbehaved yourself and dumped him can become very complicated. good for him. Lots of abusers feel terrible for their actions after the fact! My 19 year old sister just broke up with her 24 year old TOXIC boyfriend, I just broke up with my boyfriend because he is broke, Lauren London debuts her snatched frame at You People premiere, Anika Noni Rose and Jason Dirdens Colorful Los Angeles Wedding, Video of Nelly acting strange on stage goes viral, Life president Kagame hires his son as a bodyguard. I don't know what to do. 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